Conking Conker

Conker: Live and Reloaded - 5/10
To be clear this game is almost entirely a port of the old Conker's Bad Fur Day from the N64 to the Xbox. You may know this I did not.
On to the reviewing...firstly the game has great graphics, they are worthy of being called "Next-Gen" with what we have seen so far from X360. The music and sounds are well done and the story is simple but funny and easy to follow, (no matter how lacking in plot). But that is where my positives end. The story is quite fragile no matter how satirical it has so many holes and no bloody plot. But if you know me I am almost always about gameplay and graphics. The graphics are great, but if your character is so fucking inept that he can't jump from one platform to the next it doesn't fucking matter. Conker is funny, but his motor skills are somewhat lacking. The jumping ability is short and fall damage is HUGE! I mean HUGE, because if Conker were too fall off a fucking kitchen table he would die. I hate the gameplay so much....every fucking enemy needs a special thing and a special move to be killed. The basic fucking enemy takes at least 5 hits to die!! I found myself wanting to kill small animals in anger rather then jump for joy cause I finished a level. Every time something went my way I wasn't happy, I was relieved that I didn't feel like I was going to die of rage.
I do not reccomend this game, in fact if you see it in the store grab it and chuck it at the cashier then lite it on fire. Or do it in what ever order you like but do not buy this game, at most it is a rental.
Until Fucking Next.

Next Review: When I find some thing to review, maybe Age of empires 3